Monthly Archive for December, 2005

How To Tie A Tie

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[Updated with a How to Tie a Necktie VIDEO! Scroll down to watch!] New Years Eve is coming up! That means dinner, parties, shows, and parties. How sharp will you be this New Years? For those that need some assistance I want to help you learn how to tie a tie so you can dress to impress.

What type of tie will you be wearing? You can find some instructions at ScountDB.org for the following neckties:
The Windsor Knot
The Half-Windsor Knot
The Four-In-Hand Knot
The Bow Tie

The following was taken from eHow.com

how to tie a tie

1. Lift up the collar of your shirt and put the tie around the back of your neck. The wide end should hang down about twice as low as the thin end; it can hang closer to your right or left hand, depending on what’s most comfortable for you.

2. Wrap the wide end around the thin end twice, a few inches below your neck. The wide end should go over the thin end at first. (Images 1 to 3)

3. After wrapping the wide end around the second time, push it through the back of the V-shape made by the partially formed knot. (Image 4)

4. Tuck the wide end through the front loop of the knot.

5. Gently pull down on both the thin and wide ends below the knot until the knot is tight.

6. Hold the thin end and slide the knot up to your neck. (Image 5)

7. If the thin end hangs below the wide end, untie the tie and begin again, with the wide end hanging lower than it did the first time.

8. If the wide end hangs too low, untie the tie and begin again, with the wide end hanging higher than it did the first time.

9. Flip your collar back down once you and your tie look dapper. (Image 6)

Here’s an attempt to tie a tie by perrydebian

how_to_tie_a_tie

how_to_tie_a_tie

So there you have it. That’s how to tie a tie. Now you can conquer the world!

The Chronic of Narnia Rap Video

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Holla at a playa and click this shiznit for a good time yo. Naria is phat, and google maps is where it’s at!

Click it right here!

Click this link to see all the lyrics from this Saturday Night Live Digital Short: Lazy Sunday.
Lazy Sunday Lyrics

And check out the SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Video

In case you were wondering…

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Everyone always tells me I shouldn’t drink so much pop. Well, FYI, it would take over 220 cans of Diet Mt. Dew to kill me. Suck it.

Who else is a Scrooge?

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Arg
How I may look
50 years from now

Now I’m not saying that I hate Christmas. Quite the contrary. But here are the things I don’t like about this particular holiday season:

  • 1) Since when did Thanksgiving become Christmas before Christmas? Pretty soon, “Christmas in July” might become a reality.
  • 2) Where the hell did all this snow come from? Is God trying to catch up with the last few years in just one winter?
  • 3) I don’t have money for gifts. I don’t know where everyone else is coming up with that gift money. I guess I better put on my street walkin boots and Santa’s hat/hooker red lipstick to make up the difference.
  • 4) When did this particular holiday become the one where everyone asks me when I’m going to propose to my girlfriend? See previous point for the answer to that one, bitches.

So, in conclusion, this holiday is about love, not setting up lights on November 1st, not shoveling until we all get hernias or heart-attacks, not spending hours working to spend hours shopping, not proposing (or will I?). But love and family. So screw all that other stuff we’re supposed to do, because, guess what folks… THAT ISN’T CHRISTMAS!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

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The Honda rider was traveling at such a “very high speed”, his reaction time was not sufficient enough to avoid this accident. Swedish Police estimate a speed of ~250 KM/h (155mph) before the bike hit the slow moving car side-on at an intersection. At that speed, they predicted that the rider’s reaction time (once the vehicle came into view) wasn’t sufficient enough for him to even apply the brakes. The car had two passengers and the bike rider was found INSIDE the car with them. The Volkswagen actually flipped over from the force of impact and landed 10 feet from where the collision took place.

All three involved (two in car and rider) were killed instantly. This graphic demonstration was placed at the Stockholm Motorcycle Fair by the Swedish Police and Road Safety Department. The sign above the display also noted that the rider had only recently obtained his license.

At 250 KM (155 mph) the operator is traveling at 227 feet per second. With normal reaction time to SEE-DECIDE-REACT of 1.6 seconds the above operator would have traveled over 363 feet while making a decision on what actions to take. In this incident the Swedish police indicate that no actions were taken.




Elf Movie Review (2003)

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Elf the MovieThe Plot
As a baby, orphan ‘Buddy’ ends up in Santas bag one Christmas Eve. Once he’s discovered at the North Pole he’s accepted into the elven land as one of their own. The only problem is he’s human and soon out weighs all the elves. He finally discovers that his real father is out there in a land called New York City so Buddy decides to go on an adventure to find his real dad.

I thought the movie was pretty funny for the holidays. Buddy is a nice cheerful elf and does not fit in with the other NYC people very well, but he does make friends through out his journey. Sometimes the humor was dry, but most of the time I found it funny. Many jokes were directed towards adults, but there was some good kid humor as well. It’s a movie the entire family can enjoy. I’ll definately be watching it once yearly around the holiday season.

Things I Learned From This Movie
- candy is good for any meal
- people in New York City can be pretty rude
- Santa is a little unorganized
- an elf would be an awesome friend

My Rating: 4 out of 5
full ear of cornfull ear of cornfull ear of cornfull ear of corn

Final Thoughts
Definately a movie to own that’s good for the whole family. Rent it for the holiday season.

Movie Details
Elf (2003)
Starring: Katie Asner, Jon Favreau, Kyle Gass, Will Ferrell, Edward Asner
Directed by: Jon Favreau

Links
Official Site