Stuck in Iowa

The Characters

* Ash - He’s our legendary hero wielding a chainsaw as a hand/weapon and a 12 gauge shot gun. Ladies hate him, ladies love him, and he slays demons.
* Shelia - She’s a maiden who lost her brother in battle. Thinking it’s Ash’s fault but falls in love with him.
* Lord Arthur - He’s the leader of the kingdom with a bad hair cut.
* Wiseman - Old wizard guy who knows everything
* Duke Henry the Red - He’s the leader of other kingdoms and have been at war with Lord Arthur.

The Plot
One of the most memorable early works from director Sam Raimi (Spider-Man), Army of Darkness is the third in a trilogy of hilarious sci-fi sword-and-sorcery epics. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, the ancient Necronomicon, or “Book of the Dead,” transports department store clerk Ash (Bruce Campbell) and his 1973 Oldsmobile into England’s Dark Ages. There, he faces legions of undead beasts in a battle for his life.

Things I learned from this movie

* Old ladies are mean
* Dead demons can die
* Hot water burns people and demons
* If you’re a nice jerk the ladies love you
* Make sure to always wear a belt incase you need to use a chainsaw as part of a lost limb
* Nobody ever listens to the Wiseman
* Working in the hardware department is the coolest job ever
* Mumbling magic words don’t work but make life fun
* If you watch this multiple times your wife/girlfriend/partner will look at you funny as you laugh hysterically

My Final Thoughts
This is an action packed movie full of a hero who does what he wants, acts macho, gets the girl, and takes care of business. Time traveling to the past, girlfriend gone (meaning he’s now a bachelor) with one goal on his mind… getting back home. He has a chainsaw hand, a shot gun, and a motive. Nothing, not even hot women, will get in his way. I was humored by the thought of people cutting off their own hand to make a chainsaw arm, that would be so awesome! I was entertained through almost all of the movie, but after the 10th time watching it the ‘preparation for battle’ scene was kind of lagging. That’s okay because the first time it was cool and when you get to the 10th viewing you can just use the FF button. The Wiseman knows all but nobody really cares because he looks almost senile. Lord Arthur has a haircut that bothers me but hey, when you’re Lord Arthur you can have any hairstyle you want I guess.

My rating is 4.5 out of 5. Where did that .5 go? Yeah, you guessed it, in that battle prep scene. DOH!