Now I’m not saying that I hate Christmas. Quite the contrary. But here are the things I don’t like about this particular holiday season:

• 1) Since when did Thanksgiving become Christmas before Christmas? Pretty soon, “Christmas in July” might become a reality.
• 2) Where the hell did all this snow come from? Is God trying to catch up with the last few years in just one winter?
• 3) I don’t have money for gifts. I don’t know where everyone else is coming up with that gift money. I guess I better put on my street walkin boots and Santa’s hat/hooker red lipstick to make up the difference.
• 4) When did this particular holiday become the one where everyone asks me when I’m going to propose to my girlfriend? See previous point for the answer to that one, bitches.

So, in conclusion, this holiday is about love, not setting up lights on November 1st, not shoveling until we all get hernias or heart-attacks, not spending hours working to spend hours shopping, not proposing (or will I?). But love and family. So screw all that other stuff we’re supposed to do, because, guess what folks… THAT ISN’T CHRISTMAS!

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light afire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, because it’s always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn’t changed much over The last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it’d be male, didn’t you? But consider this – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying…

And gay it is.

Romantic Destinations in Iowa

The Hawkeye State, Iowa, holds much more beauty than a lot of travelers give it credit for. There are ten different travel areas for tourists to explore when they come to this state, from the Northwest area (where you can follow the path of historic explorers Louis and Clark) to the Southeast area that boasts of containing the world’s “crookedest” street. Lovers will also find much to do here, such as solitary hiking and just holing up in a room and enjoying each other’s company – romantic destinations in Iowa are enjoyable for everyone!

Pines on the Prairie Bed and Breakfast is located in Wilton, Iowa, just 30 or so minutes from Davenport and Iowa City, Iowa. This bed and breakfast offers all of the hospitality of a Midwest inn, with the Mississippi River just a small ways outside your door! Located in eastern Iowa, the Pines on the Prairie Bed and Breakfast is convenient to both the Wildcat Den and Palisades Kepler State Parks, which makes it an ideal spot to stay for your outdoor themed trip. This 1910 home, decorated in the “Arts and Crafts” style, is great for seclusion – you are never forced to spend time around other guests unless you want to.

This b & b has just two rooms, which means you will get a level of service that you might not find in larger inns or hotels. The Prairie Room is perfect for couples, with a comfortable queen size bed and its own shower. The Pine Loft is larger (it can accommodate up to six people), but it also includes a claw foot tub as well as other amenities that complete this spacious room. Lovely green plants and a library’s worth of books make this nook of a room one of the most perfect places for romantic destinations in Iowa.

Potter’s Mill bed and breakfast is lodged in Iowa’s oldest grist mill (from 1843). This beautiful inn and restaurant is also a great place to have your next romantic retreat. Located in Bellvue, Iowa, Potter’s Mill offers guests five rooms to choose from, with different themes and motifs in each. Gourmet breakfasts are also included. The atmosphere in this inn is like no other, with the mill theme including exposed beams and other subtle hints to the building’s original purpose. The Potter’s Mill’s restaurant is also open for lunch and dinner.

Spending some quality time with the one you love in picturesque Iowa can be just the thing for any special occasion. Whether you are celebrating a birthday or an anniversary, you can be sure romantic destinations in Iowa will be just the thing.

About the Author

Richard Rspad is with Resort Spa Destinations – reviews and articles on romantic getaways. http://www.resortspadestinations.com/romantic-getaways

Spoil her for an evening

Surprise her with a dinner at home. Send your kids and nanny at the grandparent’s house and have plans for the evening. Prepare a dinner for two in your house, cook her favorite foods and buy her favorite wine. Give also a small gift, a cheap one but can make her smile. Spend the night with a light music. Take her to a sweet dance while your favorite song is being played. But if you really don’t know how to cook, well… you can take her out to her favorite restaurant.

Before going to sleep, make sure that you give her a bubble bath. Put some scented relaxing candles lit on the bathroom. Let her soak in the water, you can join her if you want to. If not, prepare the bedroom and make sure that it is clean and dim lighted. Light some aromatic candles to make it more romantic. Massage her with scented aromatherapy oil while the soft music is going. I’m sure she’ll give you a reward for the effort.

Give her charge of the remote once in awhile

I know it’s not a romantic thing again, but it sure feels good for a woman to have the privilege of holding that remote control and having the say in what you watch together. When a man surrenders the remote, it’s a true sign of humility and respect. She may be so touched by your gesture that she will actually turn to Basketball Channel.

Share the chores

Not only romantic things fall on the category of pampering. You can also help her to lighten up her daily load by helping her on her chores like, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, walking the dogs, watering the plants, cooking food, bringing the kids to school. Sometimes men would say that those are woman’s job but marriage is partnership and sharing. You will not do all the chores, just help her doing it.

And finally, the most important thing is to ask her what she wants!

Men always assume that they really know their partner. But at the end, she was just waiting for you to ask what she really wants. There’s nothing so comforting to woman than being listened t by her partner, but men don’t’ have patience in listening. In order to have a good relationship, it is important to have a good communication. Learning to listen with you partner will make her feel very important and respected. And if there’s importance and respect, there’s love.

Also, keep a journal of what you’ve done and what she likes. This way you can refer to it in the future when you decide to do some pampering on short notice and can’t think of any ideas.

There’s no doubt about it. Men and women are created not equal. It is known by men, and yet they still continue using the same powerless ways to hook women. What’s is more incredible is that they are amazed when those ways don’t work out. So, just what are those inequally and how do they cause the way that men and women interact?

You can start learning more about this at Karen’s Diary which is full of online dating tips that may interest you. Learn about the g-spot, learn how to date older women, dating and relationship advice, and how to overcome the fear of rejection. Check it out!