Here are the lyrics… or what I think she is saying. Feel free to leave a comment to correct anything.

Chris Parnell: We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman: Hello.

Parnell: So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

Portman: Do you really want to know?

Parnell: Yes, tell us…

Here’s a youtube vid, doubt it’ll stay online forever though.

Portman: I don’t sleep mother f***er
off that yak and durban
doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’

Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie you a crazy chick

Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I bust in dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker

Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight
Guys: what you need Natalie
Portman: to f*** all night

Don’t test when I’m crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you s**t in my shoe
leave you screaming
pay for my dry cleaning
f*** your man
It’s my name that he’s screamin’

Parnell: I’m sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

Portman: All the kids lookin’ up to me can suck my d**k
It’s Portman mother f***er
drink till I’m sick
slit your throat
and poor nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while I laugh you die
and all the dudes
you know I’m talkin to you
Guys: we love you natalie
Portman: I wanna f*** you too
P is for portman
P is for <meow>
i’ll kill your f**in dog for fun so don’t push me

Parnell: Well, Natalie I’m surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there’s a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?

When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t

Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad ass biiiiiiiitch (hell yeah!)
and I always pay for your dry cleanin
when my s**t gets in your shoe
as for the drug use
well I can vouch for that
my d**k is scared of you
girl

Parnell: Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–

(Portman throws chair at Parnell)
Portman: No more questions

What!

Here are the Lazy Sunday (Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia) Lyrics.
Lazy Sunday,
Wake up in the late afternoon
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’
Hello?
What up, Parn!
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
Narnia!
Man it’s happ’nin’!
But first, my hunger pangs are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt, that bakery’s got all the bomb frostings.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.

Two! No, Six! No, Twelve! Baker’s Dozen!
I told’ja that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper West Side, dude!
Let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest!
That’s a good one too.
Google Maps is the best!
True that! Double true!
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka!
What you wanna do Chris?
snack attack, mutha—-!

Hit the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!

Yo, stop at the deli.
The theatre is overpriced!
You got that backpack
I’m going to pack it up nice.
We don’t want security to get suspicious!
Mr. Pibbs and Red Vines equals crazy delicious.
Yo, reach in my pocket and pull out some dough,
Girl acted like she never seen a $10 before!
It’s all about the Hamiltons baby
Throw the snacks in a bag and I’m Ghost like Swayze.

Roll up to the theatre
Ticket buying what we’re handling,
You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we’re dropping Hamiltons
Parked in our seats movie trivia’s the illest!
“What Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?”
We answered so fast, it was scary:
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed “Matthew Perry!”
Then quiet in the theatre or it’s gonna get tragic
We’re about to be taken to a dream world of magic

In the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Want to see the video? Click the link below:
Chronicles of Narnia Rap Video

And check out the SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Video

A small list of places in Iowa to visit
http://500nations.com/Iowa_Places.asp

100 places to visit in iowa… BEFORE YOU DIE! OMG! And you’ll need to scroll down a little bit on this site to see the list.
http://robertgraef.blogspot.com/2007/01/100-places-to-visit-in-iowa-before-you.html

And if you’re bored or stuck in Iowa, here are some things to keep you busy
http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/North_America/United_States_of_America/Iowa/Things_To_Do-Iowa-BR-1.html

Now, I take no credit whatsoever in finding these vids, but, come on – I shared them with you, didn’t I?

- NOT like our high school news team (remember the Batman comics)

- By far, one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Take the time capsule back to Super Mario… Now that take a lot of friggin talent.

Read more tips and why this works right here

Bush Spends Day Feverishly Booby-Trapping Desk (from the Onion)

My favorite part is the last paragraph…

In what may turn out to be his greatest presidential prank, Bush also has spent the previous eight years damaging the American economy beyond repair and bogging the country down in an unwinnable war with a sovereign Middle Eastern nation.

By the way… if these guys have these faces in real life when they do it, I think their romantic life is in trouble.

J*** in my Pants video from Youtube

If that gets removed, here’s the J*** in my Pants video from Saturday Night Live

Here are the Jizz in my Pants Lyrics . Correct them in the comments if they’re wrong, I’m no pro at this.

Lock eyes from across the room
down my drink while the rhythms boom
take your hand and skip the names
no need here for the silly games
make our way through the smoke and crowd
the club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
move in close as the lasers fly
our bodies touch and the angels cry
leave this place go back to yours
our lips first touch outside your doors
a whole night what we’ve got in store
whisper in my ear that you want some more
and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

This really never happens you can take my word
I won’t apologize, that’s just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
and now I

J*** IN MY PANTS

don’t tell your friends or I’ll say you’re a slut
plus it’s your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive, some would say that’s a plus

Now I’ll go home and change

(JORMA) I need a few things from the grocery
do things alone now mostly
left me heart broken not lookin’ for love
surprise in my eyes when I looked above
the check out counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that’s when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked “Cash or Credit?”
And I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we’re going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance because I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

To be fair you were flirting a lot
plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
please stop acting like you’re not impressed
One more thing, I’m gonna pay by check

Last week – I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

(JORMA)Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

(ANDY) The next day my alarm goes off and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

I just ate a grape and I

J***ED…IN…MY PANTS

J***ED…IN…MY PANTS

Ok seriously you guys can we…ok…

I J*** RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME
AND WHEN WE’RE HOLDING HANDS IT’S LIKE HAVING SEX TO ME
YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY
I WEAR A RUBBER AT ALL TIMES IT’S A NECESSITY

Cuz I

J***…IN…MY PANTS

(I j*** in my pants, I j*** in my pants, yes I j*** in my pants, yes I j*** in my pants)
yes I J***…IN…MY PANTS
(I j*** in my pants (AKIVA!), I j*** in my pants)

//END

A few months back I decided to share some excellent material from Stuck In Iowa, the ones I’d give a trophy to for being the best of the best. So I am here righting this today to share them with you.

Haha! How funny. But it’s nothing is as bad ass as the ultimate money saving gift: The…$100 Craptop

If you like those posts you’ll for sure love the other links I shared right here.

As you travel through Iowa you will begin to see the meaning behind the terms, “Corn State” or “Hawkeye State” as the state has been phrased. Bordered by Minnesota, Nebraska, South Dakota, Wisconsin, and Missouri, the state of Iowa has produced some celebrities to make not of. Former present of the United States Herber Hoover called Iowa his home. The state also is birthplace of the jazz musician and swing bandleader Glenn Miller. Anyone who loves cowboy movies would be thrilled to find out that John Wayne is also a native to the state. There are many historic events that Iowa has claim to. It’s also here that the Lewis and Clark expedition has been connected to.

If you are looking to create baskets that show off the cultural, historical, and creative side of Iowa, you may turn to some of the state symbols and wildlife creates for inspiration. The state flower is the wild rose. This flower has a wonderfully soothing fragrance when applied to lotions, body creams, and body sprays. A gift basket full of bath & body items that contain the state flower scent would be a very appropriate gift. Add in loofas, scrubs, and facial masks and you just might create a new love of the state flower.

As for some of the statewide activities that take place in the region, Indianaola, Iowa is home to the National Balloon Classic, which allows gift basket business owners to truly explore the colorful possibilities and unique wrapping arrangements that can come from such a theme. For example, elaborate measures might be taken to construct gift baskets that resemble hot air balloons. Inside, an assortment of tasty edibles await, including common picnic items or sweet treats.

To prepare a Discover Iowa gift basket, you may entertain the thought of exploring some of the historical and celebrity aspects of the state. Well-known buffalo hunter, entertainer, and Pony Express rider, Buffalo Bill (William Frederick Cody) was born near Le Claire in 1846. A skilled gift basket creator can look beyond the buffalos and horses to create an entertaining sideshow basket for all ages.

Former legendary late-night talk show host, Johnny Carson was born in Corning. A commemorative gift basket featuring DVD’s of past shows and appearances would bring delight to any diehard fan. To tap into the younger generation, a preteen might go bananas over an Aston Kutcher-inspired gift basket with DVD’s showcasing his popular, Punk’d reality show or the contagious That 70s Show reruns, accompanied by common movie theater snacks. Kutcher is a Cedar Rapids native. Another Cedar Rapids hometown hero is Elijah Wood, who could inspire an endless promotional gift basket selection for Lord of the Rings fans.

Additional ideas include a Superman-inspired gift basket to pay homage to the 1950s actor, George Reeves who first took on the role, and a super-clean arrangement of detergents, fabric softeners, lint brushes, and a iron (perfect for an incoming college freshman) in honor of former Laurel, Iowa resident, Frederick Maytag, who had a hand in some of the most well-known home appliances in the world.

About the Author

Wendy Wood is the owner of Seek Gift Baskets, an online gift basket directory. For more information on gift baskets Iowa visit Iowa Gift Baskets http://www.seekgiftbaskets.com/directory/search_result/Browse/Iowa/

Spoil her for an evening

Surprise her with a dinner at home. Send your kids and nanny at the grandparent’s house and have plans for the evening. Prepare a dinner for two in your house, cook her favorite foods and buy her favorite wine. Give also a small gift, a cheap one but can make her smile. Spend the night with a light music. Take her to a sweet dance while your favorite song is being played. But if you really don’t know how to cook, well… you can take her out to her favorite restaurant.

Before going to sleep, make sure that you give her a bubble bath. Put some scented relaxing candles lit on the bathroom. Let her soak in the water, you can join her if you want to. If not, prepare the bedroom and make sure that it is clean and dim lighted. Light some aromatic candles to make it more romantic. Massage her with scented aromatherapy oil while the soft music is going. I’m sure she’ll give you a reward for the effort.

Give her charge of the remote once in awhile

I know it’s not a romantic thing again, but it sure feels good for a woman to have the privilege of holding that remote control and having the say in what you watch together. When a man surrenders the remote, it’s a true sign of humility and respect. She may be so touched by your gesture that she will actually turn to Basketball Channel.

Share the chores

Not only romantic things fall on the category of pampering. You can also help her to lighten up her daily load by helping her on her chores like, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, walking the dogs, watering the plants, cooking food, bringing the kids to school. Sometimes men would say that those are woman’s job but marriage is partnership and sharing. You will not do all the chores, just help her doing it.

And finally, the most important thing is to ask her what she wants!

Men always assume that they really know their partner. But at the end, she was just waiting for you to ask what she really wants. There’s nothing so comforting to woman than being listened t by her partner, but men don’t’ have patience in listening. In order to have a good relationship, it is important to have a good communication. Learning to listen with you partner will make her feel very important and respected. And if there’s importance and respect, there’s love.

Also, keep a journal of what you’ve done and what she likes. This way you can refer to it in the future when you decide to do some pampering on short notice and can’t think of any ideas.

If you can’t see it, here’s a direct link.

This is great. It shows the history of the internet, many of which we have listed on our little ‘ol blog. Personal Favorites (in no particular order, but all gems):

• The Spirit of Christmas
• Hampster Dance
• All Your Base Are Belong To Us
• O RLY?
• numa numa
• Chuck Norris Facts
• Leeroy Jenkins
• Lazy Sunday
• Hahaha (The Laughing Baby)
• I can has CHEEZBURGER?
• Dick In a Box
• RickRoll
• Chocolate Rain
• I Like Turtles
• Dramatic Chipmunk
• Spaghetti Cat
• Ninja Cat

And to wrap it all up, Weezer launches “Pork and Beans” Music Video.  Me luvs the interwebs.

Put the toiletries and all the items in the bathroom in their respective places o they are not scattered all over the bathroom. Close all the cabinets and take out the empty bottles out of the bathroom, especially those that does not belong on the bathroom. Put all the dirty clothes and towels on the hamper. Put on your rubber gloves.

Next, you should start on your toilet. Put on bleach or toilet bowl cleaning solution. Be careful for some of bleach can cause suffocation and strong odors. Let the solution stays for 20-30 minutes. Wait for the bleach to sit it.

Sweep the floor. Bathrooms accumulate a great deal of hair and other detritus. Use a rubber bristle broom to get the dirt between tiles.Wipe all the hair on the tub using a paper towel. Wipe a cleaning solution on the tub and on your shower walls. Wash the mildew on the anti-slip tub. Soak it on a hot water and add some bleach. Scrub the bathtub as well. Don’t forget the shower curtain; it is also prone to mildew. You can soak it on hot water and spray it on a part where there mildew. If it is washable, wash it on a washing machine. Once the washing is done, rinse the tub and the shower with hot water. Hot water dries faster.

Now it’s time to start cleaning the sink and counter area. You may use whichever cleaning product you used on the tub, but use it sparingly as it is harder to rinse the soap off a counter. Scrub all the soap scum and tooth paste off, rinsing your sponge thoroughly as you go along. A toothbrush or cotton swabs can be handy for getting the junk out from between the tap and handles. Never use the same rag or paper towel you used in cleaning the toilet. This can spread leftover disease-causing germs to your sink and counter area.

Then return to the toilet, scrub all the dirt with a toilet brush, getting the solution-infused bowl water under the rim. Spray the rim and lid of the bowl with the same cleanser you used on your tub and sink. Wipe or use disinfectant towelettes, much easier for getting all the nooks and crannies of the seat and lid. If you are concerned about germs on the outside of the bow just spray a bit of your bleach-water solution on to the surface and let it sit for a few minutes before wiping. Always wear gloves when cleaning your toilet & only use those gloves for cleaning the bathroom. Don’t use the same that you use in the kitchen. It can cause cross contamination & could make you & your family very ill. It is also a good idea to use paper towels when wiping the exterior of the toilet so you can dispose of them after use.

Wash the walls, molding, and windows if necessary. If these are made of wood, hot, soapy water from a bucket should be used. If they are tiled, you can use the same cleaning product you used on your tub and sink. If you want a germ free cabinets and drawers use a hot soapy bleach water. Clean the ceiling. The aforementioned bleach-water solution in a spray bottle can be used to eliminate mildew spots on the ceiling as well.

Use a glass cleaner when cleaning the windows and mirror with paper towels. Don’t use soap, bleach and sponge on glass. It will not shine.
18. Mop the floor with a hot soapy bleach water. And mop it again and remove the slippery soap. Get out of the bathroom and clean the mop. Dispose the sponge that you use. Wash your hands and change your clothes to avoid contamination.

And there you have it! You’ve successfully battled a dirty job and won!

Do you speak english?

Chuck Norris Video

You can find more videos like this and really awesome stuff visiting another favorite post of mine.

Wendy’s and free travel tickets

Pull down me pants look up me bot ‘tom

Yeah, that’s good stuff. See you Saturday.

Free Random Wallpaper Software 

 Cowabunga Bitches!

Now that you’ve seen them you can see more hot stuff here, or even directly here, and then some over there. All on this site! It can’t get any better than that! Except fried candy bars from the Iowa State Fair, but that’s a whole other ball game.

What is cowabunga anyway? Well wikipedia knows all and says this

Etymology

From kawabonga, bad; a nonsense word spoken by Chief Thunderthud, a character in The Howdy Doody Show, altered to “cowabunga” by Australian surfers and popularized by Bart Simpson of The Simpsons and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic, TV, and movie series.

Interjection

cowabunga!

1. 1. A slang term used when amazed or surprised, often followed by the word man

      Cowabunga, man! Look at that crazy house!

Have a slogan

 Old lady punch

For more favorite posts visit here and then visit here, you might like it.

http://www.lifeinthefastlane.ca/when-bodybuilding-and-steroids-go-too-far/offbeat-news

It’s full of people with HUGE muscles and talks about steriod use. The pictures are pretty amazing.

If you like this post, you should read how to get drunk on  $5 or less.

Alcohol Makes Girls Sexy – Watch more free videos
Or link is here