Kinda says it all, doesn’t it?

By the way… if these guys have these faces in real life when they do it, I think their romantic life is in trouble.

J*** in my Pants video from Youtube

If that gets removed, here’s the J*** in my Pants video from Saturday Night Live

Here are the Jizz in my Pants Lyrics . Correct them in the comments if they’re wrong, I’m no pro at this.

Lock eyes from across the room
down my drink while the rhythms boom
take your hand and skip the names
no need here for the silly games
make our way through the smoke and crowd
the club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
move in close as the lasers fly
our bodies touch and the angels cry
leave this place go back to yours
our lips first touch outside your doors
a whole night what we’ve got in store
whisper in my ear that you want some more
and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

This really never happens you can take my word
I won’t apologize, that’s just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
and now I

J*** IN MY PANTS

don’t tell your friends or I’ll say you’re a slut
plus it’s your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive, some would say that’s a plus

Now I’ll go home and change

(JORMA) I need a few things from the grocery
do things alone now mostly
left me heart broken not lookin’ for love
surprise in my eyes when I looked above
the check out counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that’s when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked “Cash or Credit?”
And I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we’re going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance because I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

To be fair you were flirting a lot
plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
please stop acting like you’re not impressed
One more thing, I’m gonna pay by check

Last week – I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

(JORMA)Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

(ANDY) The next day my alarm goes off and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I

J*** IN MY PANTS

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I

J***ED IN MY PANTS

I just ate a grape and I

J***ED…IN…MY PANTS

J***ED…IN…MY PANTS

Ok seriously you guys can we…ok…

I J*** RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOU’RE NEXT TO ME
AND WHEN WE’RE HOLDING HANDS IT’S LIKE HAVING SEX TO ME
YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY
I WEAR A RUBBER AT ALL TIMES IT’S A NECESSITY

Cuz I

J***…IN…MY PANTS

(I j*** in my pants, I j*** in my pants, yes I j*** in my pants, yes I j*** in my pants)
yes I J***…IN…MY PANTS
(I j*** in my pants (AKIVA!), I j*** in my pants)

//END

What does the web think – it will tell you what the web thinks. I asked it one very import question:

Am I Stuck in Iowa?

Well, pixeloo creates real versions of the cartoons, with such notable representations of Homer, Mario, Jessica Rabbit, and Stewie…

Scary.

If you can’t see it, here’s a direct link.

The Astley Character

Remember, you know the rules, and so do I.

This is great. It shows the history of the internet, many of which we have listed on our little ‘ol blog. Personal Favorites (in no particular order, but all gems):

• The Spirit of Christmas
• Hampster Dance
• All Your Base Are Belong To Us
• O RLY?
• numa numa
• Chuck Norris Facts
• Leeroy Jenkins
• Lazy Sunday
• Hahaha (The Laughing Baby)
• I can has CHEEZBURGER?
• Dick In a Box
• RickRoll
• Chocolate Rain
• I Like Turtles
• Dramatic Chipmunk
• Spaghetti Cat
• Ninja Cat

And to wrap it all up, Weezer launches “Pork and Beans” Music Video.  Me luvs the interwebs.

Check out Smoother’s earlier post.

Here are some of my fav’s, taken from Wikiquote:

• Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing but fish going “Ahhh, fuck! I thought I looked like that rock!”
• See, this CD is in stores. The only way I could get my last CD into a store was to take one in there and leave it. “Sir, you forgot this!” “No, I did not. That is for ‘sale’. Please alphabetize ‘it’.”
• I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.
• I’ve got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying “No”. So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say no to. Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have three settings? Liar! My fan fucking lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain’t sayin’ shit.
• I had this parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say “I’m hungry.” So it died.
• I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it.
• I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.”
• I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that’s real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say “Sweet.” And then people would say, “Mitch, how do I get ahold of you?” I’d say, “Just press two for a while. And when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough.”
• I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
• My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said “no, but I want a regular banana later, so … yeah”.
• I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that’s extra scary to me. There’s a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he’s fuzzy, let’s get out of here.
• I like vending machines ’cause snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, oftentimes, I will drop it so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.
• I have a new CD; it’s in stores, and when you have a CD in stores, you have to do in-store appearances, and if nobody shows up, I just pretend like I’m shopping. That’s how I shop; I sit behind a table with a pen.

Funny stuff.  His new CD came out 9/9.  Get it.  Now.

The medals, which were supposed to be made entirely of gold, were instead found to be composed of 99% lead alloy and coated with a gold-colored lead-based paint.

And without further delay, here’s the Olympic quote of the year!

“I am very, very concerned about my extensive contact with gold medals,” Mr. Phelps told reporters. “But what am I supposed to do? Stop being so awesome?”

Source: Huffington Post

Other posts you might like:
Top earning Beijin Olympics Athletes
What do Olympic athletes earn?

image source: sagicel

1. Kobe Bryant / USA / Basketball /$39 million
2. LeBron James / USA / Basketball / $38 million
3. Ronaldinho / Brazil / Soccer / $37 million
4. Roger Federer / Switzerland / Tennis / $35 million
5. Yao Ming / China / Basketball / $28 million
6. Dwyane Wade / USA / Basketball / $27 million
7. Maria Sharapova / Russia / Tennis / $26 million
8. Dirk Nowitzki / Germany / Basketball / $25 million
9. Jason Kidd / USA / Basketball / $20 million
10. Pau Gasol / Spain / Basketball / $15 million

See the slideshow here.

photo courtesy of verybadlady

I read this PDF file from TeamUSA.org that has a lot of information about stipends, bonuses, and reimbursement. Here are the main money makers once you reach the Olympics.

Gold Medal: $25,000
Silver Medal: $15,000
Bronze Medal: $10,000

Here’s a quick breakdown of what each Olympic Athlete from the U.S. gets for the Beijing 2008 Olympics :

• Competition & Camp Expenses (airline – United VIK, room/board &
  accreditation fees)
• Monthly Stipends
• Performance Incentives
• OTC Resident Program
• Elite Athlete Health Insurance (EAHI)
• NIKE Apparel

Monthly stipends range from $250-2000 per month, so I’m sure a lot of athletes have jobs while they’re training. This is only what the country is giving athletes, but there’s a lot more money to be made with endorsement deals and bonuses. Speedo, the swimming gear brand, awarded a $1 million bonus to Michael Phelps for breaking Mark Spitz’s 1972 gold medal record of seven gold medals in single Olympics events (from CNBC) and 21 year old Jamaican, Usain Bolt, received a $1.8 million bonus from his sponsor Digicel for breaking the 100 meter race world record back in May (picture).

Some related 2008 Olympic Posts:
That guy was always fast
Olympic quote of the year!
$$$ Top earning Beijin Olympics Athletes

Get more information about the Olympics Team USA at TeamUSA.org, see the final Beijing overall medal count here and here’s the count sorted by Gold medals. (Image above is courtesy of geckoam)

This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you’re never surprised by toast that comes out too dark. This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.

There are basically 2 steps on how to not be a bad parent:
1) Take your kids to Disney Land.
2) Buy your kid one of these! Here’s the link.

Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Lyrics & Video