OK. This one’s a little over some people’s heads, but if you ever thought of the perfect team to create a website, one person states that the best team would be the A-Team.
Yeah, websites in the 80’s. That’ll happen.
Monthly Archive for September, 2005
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
“Tony, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Nancy. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
“Good Heavens” said the horrified teacher.
“What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?”
“Stay the f*ck away from Aunt Nancy when she’s drinking”
It appears MIT is super close to creating a laptop for $100. Check this out:
My favorite part is the hand-crank generator…
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…. hoo.
We may end up with another one of these poverty stampedes.
I had a problem. My Windows XP Command Line (aka CMD aka Command Prompt aka MS Dos Prompt) disappears when I try to do things. I try to ping and it dissappears. I try to run reg edit, it disappears. It wouldn’t do anything. And then I got an error.
NTVDM CPU has encountered an illegal instruction
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I did some searching and came up with this very very helpful thread titled, well you know it, NTVDM CPU has encountered an illegal instruction
Here’s the solution that was posted:
I have submitted our blog to Blogwise. Here’s the response I got after the addition.
There are currently 4991 blog(s) in the queue. Your blog is expected to be added within 30 day(s).
Can you say “Whoa!”
Some of the latest science news… you may not know this but many non-living things have a gender.
For example:
1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light afire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it’s always getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn’t changed much over The last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it’d be male, didn’t you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying…
The Plot
This is a remake of the 1974 prison football comedy, The Longest Yard. It’s been done well and very similar to the original even down to the dialogue. It’s a story of pro quarterback Paul Crewe (Sandler) and former college champion and coach Nate Scarboro (Reynolds), who are doing time in the same prison. Asked to put together a team of inmates to take on the guards, Crewe enlists the help of Scarboro to coach the inmates to victory in a football game “fixed” to turn out quite another way. We’re supposed to believe that Crewe is a former NFL MVP however it’s a little hard to believe because he’s just Adam Sandler and not beefed up much at all.
Things I Learned From This Movie
- former pro athletes can’t get away with BREAKing the law all the time
- if you throw a professional game, everybody will hate you
- prison guards in Texas can beat the crap out of inmates and get away with it
- if you’re in prison, you’re pretty good at football
- black people are better at football than white people
- you can sneak anything into prison using a cake
- big guys can be sensitive too!
My Rating:
3 out of 5 Ears of Cizzorn
Final Thoughts
I found the moving boring at times, but funny at times. I recommend this movie for a date, but I suggest renting instead of spending money at the theater for it. It does not take advantage of the big screen very well.
Movie Details
Genres: Comedy
Running Time: 1 hr. 49 min.
Release Date: May 27, 2005 (nationwide).
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, violence, language and drug references.
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
car when he was born
There seems to be a large black hole with some sort of effect on people on earth. This means crazy shit is happening. For example, this whole Britney Spears baby thing. If you didn’t catch Family Guy this weekend, it had a bit about being Kevin Federline’s Mirror.
Anyway, there’s also this Demi Moore - Ashton Kutcher thing. Now see, I could use an overused “layer of hell” thing, but I feel that a black hole is much more descriptive because this crap is sucking the life out of me. That and other things.
My Golf rocks. Not because it has 8 airbags. not because all it’s a ’sleeper’ and I’ve never been pulled over by the cops in it. Not because it’s small, light, fast, and furious. What makes it really the hardcore machine it is? The keyless entry key. Let me explain… I washed my key today on the heavy duty setting with a 30 minute soak option, then dried it with my clothes on high for about 75 minutes (I was drying blue jeans). It wasn’t until the dry cycle was over that I realized what terrible thing I’ve done! My key was dry and clean so I decided to give it a shot and the keyless entry worked. And the moral of the story is… it’s okay to wash your VW key with your laundry. At the end of the day you’ll have a nice shiny working key.