Monthly Archive for March, 2006

5,911 views

Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Lyrics & Video

Did you miss the awesome SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman? If so, your life is lacking some comedy! Here are the lyrics from the Natalie Portman gangsta rap that was on Saturday Night Live… You can see the video and others SNL shorts here! It’s f’n hilarious!

Here are the lyrics… or what I think she is saying. Feel free to leave a comment to correct anything.

Chris Parnell: We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman: Hello.

Parnell: So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

Portman: Do you really want to know?

Parnell: Yes, tell us…

Portman: I don’t sleep mother f***er
off that yak and bourbon
doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’

Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie you a crazy chick

Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I’m bustin dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker

Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight
Guys: what you need Natalie
Portman: to f*** all night

Continue reading ‘Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Lyrics & Video’

1,318 views

Lazy Sunday Lyrics

Want to see the video? Click the link below:
Lazy Sunday Video

Here are the Lazy Sunday (Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia) Lyrics.
Lazy Sunday,
Wake up in the late afternoon
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’
Hello?
What up, Parn!
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
Narnia!
Man it’s happ’nin’!
But first, my hunger pangs are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt, that bakery’s got all the bomb frostings.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.

Two! No, Six! No, Twelve! Baker’s Dozen!
I told’ja that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper West Side, dude!
Let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest!
That’s a good one too.
Google Maps is the best!
True that! Double true!
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka!
What you wanna do Chris?
snack attack, mutha—-!

Continue reading ‘Lazy Sunday Lyrics’

985 views

Antiperspirants and Cancer (aluminum chloride)

certain driIf you sweat a lot, or have some body odor when sweating, or suffer from a form of excessive perspiration (hyperhidrosis), the antiperspirant/deodorant has been a great answer to your problem. I used to sweat constantly. I would sweat when nervous, I’d sweat when it’s hot or even cold, and I’d sweat by just doing nothing. That’s when somebody recommended Certain Dri. It’s worked great so far. I use it off and on… maybe once every 3 days for about 2 weeks then I don’t use it again for about a month. If you’re interested in this product you can buy it at Wal-Mart, Walgreens, and even read user reviews over at Amazon.com. It’s highly effective. Certain Dri contains aluminum chloride.

Anyway, let’s talk about antiperspirants and cancer.

A friend of mine told me that antiperspirants cause breast cancer. This is the 3rd time I’ve heard this so I did some research. 2 times from women, 1 time from a man. I did some searching on the internet using Google can came upon the US Gov website explaining this issue.

You can read the full report here.
Here’s an excerpt from the article.

breast examThe Cancer Myth
The rise of the Internet has made it easy for false health claims, scary stories, and rumors to reach millions of people in a matter of minutes. One such myth says that antiperspirants may cause breast cancer.

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), the breast cancer-antiperspirant myth first appeared in the form of an e-mail in the 1990s, and continues to resurface and recirculate about every year or so. The false information suggests that antiperspirants contain harmful substances, which can be absorbed through the skin or can enter the body near the breasts through nicks in the skin caused by shaving. The e-mails also suggested that antiperspirants keep a person from “sweating out toxins,” resulting in the spread of cancer-causing toxins via the lymph nodes.

Continue reading ‘Antiperspirants and Cancer (aluminum chloride)’

5,094 views

Funny Mitch Hedberg Quotes

mitch hedberg Google Homepage and one of my sections is the Quote of the Day. I got curious after seeing a funny Mitch Hedberg saying so I went clicky clicky on the link and here’s what I found, they’re pretty funny so I thought I’d share.

I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get ahold of me, they just say “Mitch,” and I say “what?” and turn my head slightly.
Mitch Hedberg

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.
Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.
Mitch Hedberg

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Mitch Hedberg

Continue reading ‘Funny Mitch Hedberg Quotes’

220 views

Stuck In Iowa - Stats

Top 10 Searched Phrases This Month
This is how people found Stuck in Iowa this month. Click it to see what comes up! Of course this post will be one of the first since the search words are right here…
bcmlogon.dll
interface not registered
outlook interface not registered
chronic of narnia
interface not registered outlook
itunes skipping
chronic of narnia video
bcmlogon
outlook error interface not registered
word interface not registered

Top 10 Searched Words This Month:
This is a list of words which were used to find Stuck in Iowa this month. Click it to see what comes up!
not
interface
registered
outlook
bcmlogon.dll
of
chronic
narnia
the
word

A Worthy Opponent
Chuck Norris is climbing the ladder and steel just posted that entry. Daaaaaaaaaaaamz!

Bookmarks
10% of our viewers this month has added Stuck in Iowa this month to their favorites. Give it a shot! Adding us to your favorites is fun and free! (That was corny, get it? Corny? Iowa? Bwahahaha..ok maybe not)

182 views

How To Resize The Current Window

If this works for you, I encourage you to comment. Commenting is free, I swear!

Are you trying to resize the current window using javascript? I searched google for a way to resize the current window but all I got was how to resize a window using Javascript when you click a link. If you have run into the same problem I have the simple solution for you.

My code is not aligned because wordpress kept putting in br tags, but you’ll get the point (hopefully) To resize the current window using javascript use this code in your header:

Well I tried to put it here but Wordpress was having problems and resizing the blog, omg so funny (not) but rofl anyway? Watch out, here comes the rolfcopter!

ROFLCOPTER

You can view all code right here in this txt file.
resize-current-window.txt

Oh hellz yeah!

3,463 views

Don’t ever try to stare down Chuck Norris… ever.

I’m sure everyone has heard this, but here is why Chuck Norris rules…

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When God said, “let there be light”, Chuck Norris said, “say ‘please’.”

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Here’s the video:

 

Chuck Norris on Chuck Norris

alternate link

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Cherokee Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Continue reading ‘Don’t ever try to stare down Chuck Norris… ever.’

202 views

Uninstall Microsoft Windows Messenger

1. Start Registry Editor. To do this, click Start, click Run, type regedit.exe, and then click OK.

If the following registry subkey already exists, go to step 6:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Messenger\Client
2. Click the following registry subkey:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Policies\Microsoft
3. On the Edit menu, point to New, and then click Key. Type Messenger for the name of the new registry key, and then press ENTER.
4. Click the following registry subkey: key:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Messenger
5. On the Edit menu, point to New, and then click Key. Type Client for the name of the new registry key, and then press ENTER.
6. Click the following registry subkey: key:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Messenger\Client
7. On the Edit menu, point to New, and then click DWORD Value. Type PreventRun for the name of the new DWORD value and then press ENTER.
8. Right-click the PreventRun value that you created in step 7, and then click Modify. In theValue data box, type 1, and then click OK.
9. Quit Registry Editor.

Useful Link:
How to prevent Windows Messenger from running on a Windows XP-based computer
Windows XP FAQ: How do I remove Messenger?
http://myitforum.techtarget.com/articles/15/view.asp?id=7033

If for some reason you want to reinstall MSN Messenger just visit http://www.microsoft.com/windows/messenger and download the latest version.

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Free Random Wallpaper Software

If you’ve been scouring the web for some free random wallpaper software then look no further. My friend David wrote an easy to use application that will randomize your Microsoft Windows background in any time interval you’d like. It uses the folder you store your wallpapers, it can use or ignore the subfolders, and it will randomize or cycle through your images. File formats include .bmp, .jpg, and .jpeg.

Options Window

Tray icon and menu

I rate this random wallpaper software 5 out of 5 for ease of use and usability
full ear of corn full ear of corn full ear of corn full ear of corn full ear of corn

Get your free random background software here!