I hate magicians. Sure at times I can give props to real professional magicians but I just want to beat the crap out of street magicians because they are feces in the ‘porta potty’ whose smell just lingers and pisses you off. Okay okay, here’s the scenario…
Last weekend my entourage and I were getting all crazy at a club in downtown San Diego. We danced, we talked, we got tipsy and closed the club. We were outside trying to get a cab to go back to my place for some after hours partying but then BAM out of nowhere this f’n magician starts harassing my ladies. He’s doing the card tricks, he’s doing the 5 year old quarter disappear trick, but the thing that pissed me off most is he was not dressed to impress. He’s wearing a worn out surfing shirt, ragity old wal-mart blue jeans, and he had messy hair. He’s maybe one step above homeless bum. What the hell is he doing out at 2am anyway? Trying to get some? Oh pleeeeeeease.
So I approach this douche bag and tell him to back up and leave my ladies alone. He then goes ‘C’mon man, I’m working my magic.’ Which I replied ‘Hey buddy I’m not looking for any touble, just leave them alone.’ Now you’re probably wondering, why is Smoother interfering with this situation? Why can’t he just stay out of it and let the girls take care of themselves? The answer is simple my friends… the girls were pretty drunk and the ‘magic douche’ was trying to lure them away from the group, he kept backing up and they were following. The ladies just wanted to see some magic, they didn’t realize what was going on. And me, I take care of my friends.
Back to the verbalization… the magician ‘Go have another drink you lush.’ where I respond ‘Open your mouth again you psycho bastard and I’ll f___ your s___ up’ and right when I said that 3 other guys from my entourage magically appeared behind me. He looked pissed, looked at me, the ladies giggled, and he just walked away. Magicians are pussies. The story ends with me and my entourage having some drinks at my place until the sun came up.
Magicians can kiss my ass.
Hey dude, loved the “hate magicians” blog entry. I’m a magician (I do stage comedy-magic shows for ADULTS), and I hate a deep psychotic hatred of these “street” magicians as well. It’s good to know that real people dislike their bullcrap too, and thank you for telling the guy to get lost. Maybe there is some hope for the ART.
Take it easy,
Nathan Allen, “The Maniac of Magic”
Des Moines Iowa Comedian/Magician
http://www.maniacofmagic.com
Hey Smoother
Unfortunately, the tale you told is all too familiar. Some hack that learns a couple of tricks starts thining that he can impress the world with his amazing powers even if he is uninvited. Having said that, it is unfair to judge all magicians because you met the worst one of them all. It is like saying all doctors, mechanics and chefs are pussies. No they are not. Just the bad one you met on one unfortunate night. Call it for what it really is. Magic is huge all over the world and the top magicians make more than you and I will ever learn. Oops, there I go making assumptions too. It is like saying all bloggers make less than great magicians and that is so unfair and judgemental of me. My aploligies for being small minded. LOL
Steven Kaduce
Magician
I gotta said, i would have done the same 2am ramdom guy doing tricks to my friends and the guy looks like a bum.. ya i would have told him to F.. off, However im a street magician myself and i dont think its fare for you to insult all magicians because of that bad experience, I think there is nothing wrong with being a street magician as long as u you look and act like one, nothing else, being a creep and trying to get some at 2am is just not cool.. Once again you should not judge all magicians because u met a creep who knew some tricks..
ps. Nathan people love street magic it happens right infront of them no stage no mirrors, no cameras NOTHING TO HIDE, i have nothing against stage magic but i think that you as a magician should respect others.
@Steven Kaduce and 3drian – I see the point you’re both trying to make, and I know magic is huge and there are probably good people out there magicianin it up. But I have to base my opinion on what I see and what happens in life. Until I meet some cool as hell magician on the street, my view is going to stick.
I’m a magician. I see why you wanted to get rid of that guy, especially if he was getting kinda in their faces. But to say ALL magicians are pussies — or ALL of any one group of people are ANYTHING isn’t fair. It’s about the PERSON, not about what they DO. It would be more accurate to say you hate assholes who approach your friends at 2 in the morning. Who wouldn’t? But don’t get on all magicians’ cases. That night had to do with THAT GUY. So tell HIM to kiss your ass, not the rest of us.
Haha you have to be backed up by three friends? You are the real pusyy here.
Ur Funny! U needed ur three friends to back up against a homeless magician! Sounds to me like the magician was going to dissapear with ur girlfriends! And four against one? Not only r u a pussy ur also a coward!
3drian says: “Nathan people love street magic it happens right infront of them no stage no mirrors, no cameras NOTHING TO HIDE, i have nothing against stage magic but i think that you as a magician should respect others.”
My bad, I didn’t make myself clear. I have a HUGE amount of respect for the REAL genre of street magic. I also have a huge amount of respect for professional strolling entertainers who are hired to perform at restaurants, festivals, and corporate events.
But this new “hit and run” street magic craze? Nope. THIS is the type of magic that has earned my deep psychotic hatred. It’s just plain rude.
And the creeps who use “street magic” in a thinly veiled attempt at picking up women? Pitiful. They appear to have no respect for the art of magic, no respect for women, and no respect for themselves. To me, they come across as folks who have over-inflated egos, but zero self-esteem. They may refer to themselves as “magicians”, but more often than not they have absolutely no professional experience whatsoever. Try as they might to exude a “Casanova” aura, their desperation and misogyny shines on through.
In my opinion, any magician worthy of the title would have more respect for the art of magic than to use it for such base motives, and any genuinely decent person wouldn’t need the “hey look what I can do” magic-trick-hook to meet women.
And, for the record, I DO respect others, 3drian… I respect others enough to NOT approach a group of strangers uninvited, rudely interrupt their conversation, and do card tricks in order to draw attention to myself.
With all due respect,
-Nathan
Nathan, great comment.
Also for those that have an iPhone you should check the iForce app in the apple store. I’m no magician but it looks cool.