Did you miss the awesome SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman? If so, your life is lacking some comedy! Here are the lyrics from the Natalie Portman gangsta rap that was on Saturday Night Live… You can see the video and others SNL shorts here! It’s f’n hilarious!
Here are the lyrics… or what I think she is saying. Feel free to leave a comment to correct anything.
Chris Parnell: We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman: Hello.
Parnell: So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?
Portman: Do you really want to know?
Parnell: Yes, tell us…
Here’s a youtube vid, doubt it’ll stay online forever though.
Portman: I don’t sleep mother f***er
off that yak and durban
doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’
Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie you a crazy chick
Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I bust in dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker
Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight
Guys: what you need Natalie
Portman: to f*** all night
Don’t test when I’m crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you s**t in my shoe
leave you screaming
pay for my dry cleaning
f*** your man
It’s my name that he’s screamin’
Parnell: I’m sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
Portman: All the kids lookin’ up to me can suck my d**k
It’s Portman mother f***er
drink till I’m sick
slit your throat
and poor nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while I laugh you die
and all the dudes
you know I’m talkin to you
Guys: we love you natalie
Portman: I wanna f*** you too
P is for portman
P is for <meow>
i’ll kill your f**in dog for fun so don’t push me
Parnell: Well, Natalie I’m surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there’s a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?
When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t
Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad ass biiiiiiiitch (hell yeah!)
and I always pay for your dry cleanin
when my s**t gets in your shoe
as for the drug use
well I can vouch for that
my d**k is scared of you
girl
Parnell: Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–
(Portman throws chair at Parnell)
Portman: No more questions
What!
I LOVE YOU NATALIE
AND YES, F*** ME IF YOU WANT!
P is for Portman
P is for Pussy, not pound. that’s a cat’s meow.
@K - Yep you’re right. I fixed it thanks.
Don’t test when i’m crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you s**t in my shoe
that is the funiest part xD.
oh natalie (L)
it’s “and all the Jews, you know I’m talking to you”, not “dudes”
Portman is Jewish and a huge role model and stuff for the Jewish kids
no. its dudes. in the video it only shows men, not kids, or women.
All i gotta say is this is the funniest vid ever in the history of snl Love ya natalie you rock! xD
It’s
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my d**k
what makes it so damn hilarious is that it is so unexpected from her. she’s so demure and wispy and to hear that come out of her mouth is just genius!
cracking the bottle over her head is my faves part.
she’s my new hero.
soy español y no entiendo la letras como podia ver la traducion? jejje k wapa eres natali
si la traduccion
Natalie bad ass bitch, love you
the lyric is actually
I “bust in” dudes mouths like gushers, she’s saying she cums in dudes mouths. God i love her
Easily the dumbest shit I have seen in a while. I would pay her a weeks salary to simply fade into oblivion like all the rest of the entertainers way past their prime.
Portman + Gangsta Rap = Amazingly stupid as well as no longer “shocking” in our culture.
nice, natalie portman is a straight up thug.
My personal fav is “Don’t test me when I’m crazy on that airplane glue.” Besides, she really sold it, even on the “I want to f**k you too!” line. That’s a lot more fun that most celebrities poke at themselves.
It’s durban (a strain of weed), not bourbon.
i love the “shit in my shoe” part
and the “sit right down on your face and take a shit”
lmao andy like jumping in and singing is funny too
she’s just like YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!
@ik and laceann - I kept it “dudes”
@Pablo - thanks, fixed
@guille - Um… no se? Try this Google Translation: English -> Spanish
@biggcri - Yeah you’re right, fixed!
@Correction - Thanks, fixed.
If Natalie Portman said she was going to sit right down on my face and take a shit I’d lie down and try to catch it in my mouth. That’s how fit she is. By the way I’m not joking I’m deadly serious. If you could give Natalie a call and we could set something up. You have my email, I’ll be waiting open mouthed with my tongue sticking out. I can taste it now. Ah!!!!
@Bradley Kerr - Hahaha, wtf!?
this is totally awesome.i love natalie portman.she totally rocks plus she’s absolutely gorgeous!
@bradley kerr =))))))))))))) that’s so funny :))
I love Natalie Portman, the fact that she even able to do this proves what a talented actress she is, and her rap skills are superior (:
it’s “bustin’ dudes mouths like gushers”, meaning punching them in the face, not cumming in their mouths
@n - I think you’re right. And it fits with the next sentance.
isn’t it “gnac and bourb?” as in cognac and bourbon?
hahaahah, holy shit. i love natalie .
she’s probably the funniest “rapper” i’ve every hearddd…
does she have any other songs like this one?
… if so, hit me upp.
jaja thats so funny jaaja
That is the first rap song that I have EVER liked she is awesome
We love you Natalie!!
p is for portman,
p is pu$$y
this was so funny
Oh My God…I think I’m in love…
Where can I get her album …? O:-)
wow thats funny she look so innocent wow iiirrrooonnnny wish i could meet her she played an awesome queen amidala. and this video kicked ass i would give her her own show
It’s :
So, Natalie, what’s the day in THE life of Natalie Portman like?
Parnell: PLEASE, tell us…
Parnell: WOW, Natalie I’m surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
when my s**t gets in your shoe (WHAT)
Parnell: Okie-doke. NATALIE, One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in
and after relistening a dozen times, it’s definetely “JEWS”
)
and all the jews (@laceann: a group of jews can be all male, just like in all other religions
There is also an uncensored version at:
I don’t sleep mom f***er
off that yak and durban
doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’
you should get more sleep, because your an industrial slaughter wacked out bitch
loose stitches, into his ma, violence, sanskrita, oh, oh, oh, oh ,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, non-his ma, ahisma, spatial, non-violence, receptive, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
without that burnt light for a long long while, my body, non-obsequious, seventy percent water with that child, unassuming wise, panoramic, a wall of china, an imprint delicate, hard bhakti, ceramic, creative
I think that the line is:
Don’t test when i’m crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you’re s**tin’ in my shoe
Cute lil’ bitch is Crazee.
an yo’ mufuka’s
Suck MY Dick !
WTF she has a dick?
I DONT SLEEP MOTHER FUCKA OFF THAT YAC AND THAT DURBIN
DOIN 120 HEAD SWIVIN
DAMN NATLIE YOU A CRAZY CHIK
YO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SUK MY DICK lol