I should have posted this a long time ago:
Ninjas rob a local convenience store
The article doesn’t say that they dropped from the ceiling, threw a bunch of throwing stars, and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Not really. They were idiots with guns. Ninjas don’t have guns. Haven’t they ever seen real ninja movies, like American Ninja 1-5 and Beverly Hills Ninja? Ameteurs.
Those bitches try to rob me, I’m going to fight them off with 10 different kitchen implements.
Those kitchen utensils would really help me, because I’m definitely not a ninja. http://xkcd.com/486/