Stuck in Iowa

What’s up with the stupid plastic stirring straws for your coffee? They are thin, weak plastic, and when you stick it in your coffee to stir the heaps of sugar and non dairy creamer they end up getting flimsy from the heat and don’t do the job. I guess that’s what you get when you go to a gas station… not so good coffee… lumps of creamer in your drink… blah blah blah. Oh hey I have an idea, let’s stir coffee with a blade of grass becuase it’ll have the exact same affect! Wow! Or wait wait, what about a cooked string of sphagetti? Kum and Go says they ‘go all out’ but apparently they didn’t see the wooden stir sticks on the order form. Yeah, whatever. When life sucks like this you have to improvise, so I have found that a toothbrush comes in very handy for more than just teeth and scrubbing toilets. Eat your heart out Kum and Go! Eat your heart ouuuuuuuuuut!