The Red Oak – An Interview

Following Smoother’s post on Aug 1, I decided it would be great to interview a local hero, the Red Oak.

Steel: So, I hear you’re a variety of oak that is native to North America.  Also, I hear you grow very rapidly and favor acidic soil.

Red Oak: <rustle, rustle>

S: You must be the strong, silent type.  Maybe those questions were too hard for you.  What about this one: I hear your main characteristic is something about shiny strips. Other oaks have similar strips, but those normally occur only on the top. The strips on you go all the way down and are one of the quickest ways to identify you.

How does it feel being identified with shiny strippers?  Not only at the top like your friends, but all the way down?

RO: <rustle, rustle>

S: Okay, you son-of-a-bitch, you better start talking or we’ll end this right now.  Are you bitter about something?

RO: <rustle, rustle>

S: You think you’re so important, mister lumber, and can’t sit down for this interview.  Well, then screw you! (Exits)

RO: <rustle, rustle>

oak and fruit

The Red Oak - One quiet son-of-a-bitch

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