Check out this hilarious video! It made me LOL4Real!
If you like this post, you should read how to get drunk on $5 or less.
(this is meant as a joke – don’t take this seriously)
Top 10 Ways to get Drunk for Five Dollars or Less
Number 10. Be a frosh (freshman).
It’s not true that every frosh can be knocked into unconsciousness by waving a tom Collins under their nose, but as those of us who go hunting for frosh on “New Kids night” at the local dance holes know, the phenomena is not rare. Frosh are usually young, inexperienced, and sometimes even illegal to entice into your boudoir. If anyone can get drunk on five bucks, it’s them.
Number 9. Be female.
Chivalry is not dead! While you ladies can’t expect guys to risk their life, or miss an episode of star trek for you, you may still be able to get some alcohol out of them. Try standing around the bar, sipping water with a grimace on your face. Dress smutty. Smile at guys as they walk by, the drunker geekier the better. If you want to get more than one drink out of a guy start talking about how hot it is. Act intoxicated. Become even more friendly. At an appropriate time have a friend come by and “save you”, then move on to the next guy.
Number 8. Try Medication.
Sleeping pills. Allergy pills. If it says “do not take alcohol with this drug” or “do not operate a motorized vehicle while under the influence of this drug”, it must be good! Intelligent students such as ourselves, while not having a shred of pharmaceutical knowledge, can see that these statements are a plot by alcohol producers to keep us buying large quantities of booze.
Number 7. If it ends in ‘ol, drink it!
Alcohol isn’t the only intoxicant ending in ‘ol’. Methanol, Butanol and Propanol are all fine safe intoxicants, often available at bargain prices. Stay away from aerosol, cholesterol, and drool.
Number 6. Sleep Deprivation and Sickness.
For some reason, your body doesn’t want you to have any fun, and actively fights alcohol -enhancement. When you’re sick, and tired, your body’s defenses are at their lowest. This means its often one of the most cost effective times to get plastered! Best of all, if you puke, you can blame it on the flu.
Number 5. Try Antifreeze
Hey, ten thousand deranged alcoholic street people can’t be wrong!
The United States has its fair share of weird laws (what is up with having to pay taxes?), but there are few laws that achieve the level of oddness that certain American drinking laws attain. Underage folks may find the “21 and over” rule to be weird. People wanting to buy beer seven days a week may find the fact that liquor stores are closed on Sundays in many states to be strange. There is a wealth of addiction treatment information available online for all types of addictions, from cocaine to nicotine. Those who like to stroll around a park with an uncorked bottle of wine may find it bizarre that open containers of alcohol aren’t allowed in many areas. But, the oddness that the above laws emit is nothing compared to the peculiarities of those below:
Don’t use the “R” word: According to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (BAFT), the word “refreshing” can’t be utilized when describing alcohol beverages. That forces us, the alcohol consumers, to describe beer as brisk, gin as invigorating, and wine as reviving. That’s right BAFT, we have a thesaurus.
This is one of my favorite posts. If you haven’t seen it YOU ARE MISSING OUT!