This is an awesome report. I can just imagine the carnage. You can read the full article about his mayhem here
“A CONVENT in southern Italy is being shut down after a quarrel among its last three remaining nuns ended in blows.Sisters Annamaria and Gianbattista, reportedly upset about their mother superior’s authoritarian ways, scratched her in the face and threw her to the ground at Santa Clara convent near Bari in an incident in July that was kept quiet until now. Archbishop Giovanni Battista Pichierri tried to reconcile the nuns…”
I just realized this. You know you are getting old when all your favorite bands (Foo Fighters, 311, Sevendust, Garbage) start coming out with Greatest Hits Albums. Dammit. I thought I had at least a few more years. At least I still have my teeth.
Apparently, Rushdie, the author was knighted by the Queen of England, and this will bring out the wackos. Make sure and read about the last one, about the religious minister calling for Islams to strap bombs on to “protect the prophet”.
I don’t know why, but I’ve been bombarded with cheese related references today (luckily not pelted, tho). Here’s some good cheese-related stuff at around lunchy-lunchy time…
Did you miss the awesome SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman? If so, your life is lacking some comedy! Here are the lyrics from the Natalie Portman gangsta rap that was on Saturday Night Live… You can see the video and others SNL shorts here! It’s f’n hilarious!
Here are the lyrics… or what I think she is saying. Feel free to leave a comment to correct anything.
Chris Parnell: We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman: Hello.
Parnell: So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?
Portman: Do you really want to know?
Parnell: Yes, tell us…
Portman: I don’t sleep mother f***er
off that yak and bourbon
doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’
Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie you a crazy chick
Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I’m bustin dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker
Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight
Guys: what you need Natalie
Portman: to f*** all night
Here are the Lazy Sunday (Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia) Lyrics.
Lazy Sunday,
Wake up in the late afternoon
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’
Hello?
What up, Parn!
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
Narnia!
Man it’s happ’nin’!
But first, my hunger pangs are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt, that bakery’s got all the bomb frostings.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.
Two! No, Six! No, Twelve! Baker’s Dozen!
I told’ja that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper West Side, dude!
Let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest!
That’s a good one too.
Google Maps is the best!
True that! Double true!
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka!
What you wanna do Chris?
snack attack, mutha—-!
This is an awesome report. I can just imagine the carnage. You can read the full article about his mayhem here
