Tag Archive for 'humor'Page 2 of 2

Funny Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Published
by
Smoother
on March 25, 2006
in Jokes
. 0 Comments
TEST

mitch hedberg Google Homepage and one of my sections is the Quote of the Day. I got curious after seeing a funny Mitch Hedberg saying so I went clicky clicky on the link and here’s what I found, they’re pretty funny so I thought I’d share.

I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get ahold of me, they just say “Mitch,” and I say “what?” and turn my head slightly.
Mitch Hedberg

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.
Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.
Mitch Hedberg

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Mitch Hedberg

Continue reading ‘Funny Mitch Hedberg Quotes’

Don’t ever try to stare down Chuck Norris… ever.

Published
by
Steel
on March 14, 2006
in Everyday Life and Observations
. 3 Comments
TEST

I’m sure everyone has heard this, but here is why Chuck Norris rules…

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When God said, “let there be light”, Chuck Norris said, “say ‘please’.”

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Here’s the video:

 

Chuck Norris on Chuck Norris

alternate link

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Cherokee Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Continue reading ‘Don’t ever try to stare down Chuck Norris… ever.’

The Chronic of Narnia Rap Video

Published
by
Smoother
on December 20, 2005
in Everyday Life
. 0 Comments
TEST

Holla at a playa and click this shiznit for a good time yo. Naria is phat, and google maps is where it’s at!

Click it right here!

Click this link to see all the lyrics from this Saturday Night Live Digital Short: Lazy Sunday.
Lazy Sunday Lyrics

And check out the SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Video