1. Coeur d’Alene, Idaho: Pronounced as ‘Core da lane’, this city offers a wonderful ski environment, stunning scenery and a flourishing golf culture. The city is picking up in the tourism sector. The median home price is $311,700 and the population is 38,246.

2. Charlottesville, Virginia: The Blue Ridge Mountains, University of Virginia, and variety of entertainment and recreation, makes Charlottesville an attractive option to retire in. This is also a city with a strong historical background. All these positive features offset the slightly high median home price of $398,400. The population of Charlottesville is 41,425.

3. Logan, Utah: Home to the Utah State University, Logan is a popular city that offers various recreational activities including plenty of water sports at Bear Lake. Logan has a historic downtown and the scenic Logan Canyon Scenic Byway is a great attraction. The city has a median home price of $205,400 and population of 44,599.

4. Blacksburg, Virginia: A town that has been growing steadily over the last 4 decades, Blacksburg is home to the Virginia Polytechnic Institute also known as Virginia Tech, a very vibrant college community and lots of scenic beauty. The median home price is $233,400 and the town has a population of 39,915 residents.

5. Burlington, Vermont: A college town through and through, Burlington boasts of being home to four colleges – the University of Vermont, Burlington College, Champlain College and a Community College of Vermont campus. The median home price is $378,000 and the town has 37,884 residents.

6. Anacortes, Washington: An awesome place if you want to enjoy your retirement with a lot of fun and entertainment. The jewel of Fidalgo Island, Anacortes is favorably located near British Columbia. There is no limit to the water sports that the sea offers or to other outdoor activities such as golfing, bird watching, camping etc. The median home price is $347,600 and the town has a population of just 15,514 with a 15-year growth rate of 24.5 %.

7. Sarasota, Florida: You would love this spot for its exquisite architecture, pure white sands and wonderful beach sports. You can have a big house warming party, south florida party rentals are always on hand. The medium home price is a little expensive at $423,400 and the population is at 53,477. Being the hub of architectural marvel Sarasota in the State of Florida might not offer much for the home buyer in terms of housing bargains. Make sure to check out the local south florida event rentals.

8. Hanover, New Hampshire: Also known as the “Upper Valley”, Hanover in New Hampshire is a peaceful place to settle in, for its wonderful valley setting. Located at driving distance from Boston, Montreal and New York City, Hanover also offers great skiing activity. The median home price is at $297,400 and the population is 8,305 with a 15-year growth rate of 13.2 %.

9. Manhattan, Kansas: If one wishes to settle in a city that offers year-round entertainment, Manhattan in the State of Kansas would be the perfect choice. The city offers golf, art, shopping and some of the country’s best music festivals during the month of June. The median home price is $188,600 and the population is 44,630.

10. Ames, Iowa: This can be the perfect choice for the one who wants a laid back lifestyle and a quiet life. The city offers some of the most affordable housing options and the crime rate is also quite low here. The city also is home to the Iowa State University. The Median home price is at $176,700 and the population is 54,817.

Here are the lyrics… or what I think she is saying. Feel free to leave a comment to correct anything.

Chris Parnell: We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman: Hello.

Parnell: So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

Portman: Do you really want to know?

Parnell: Yes, tell us…

Here’s a youtube vid, doubt it’ll stay online forever though.

Portman: I don’t sleep mother f***er
off that yak and durban
doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’

Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie you a crazy chick

Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I bust in dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker

Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: to drink and fight
Guys: what you need Natalie
Portman: to f*** all night

Don’t test when I’m crazy on that airplane glue
put my foot down your throat
till you s**t in my shoe
leave you screaming
pay for my dry cleaning
f*** your man
It’s my name that he’s screamin’

Parnell: I’m sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

Portman: All the kids lookin’ up to me can suck my d**k
It’s Portman mother f***er
drink till I’m sick
slit your throat
and poor nitrous down the hole
watch you laugh and cry
while I laugh you die
and all the dudes
you know I’m talkin to you
Guys: we love you natalie
Portman: I wanna f*** you too
P is for portman
P is for <meow>
i’ll kill your f**in dog for fun so don’t push me

Parnell: Well, Natalie I’m surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there’s a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?

When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t

Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad ass biiiiiiiitch (hell yeah!)
and I always pay for your dry cleanin
when my s**t gets in your shoe
as for the drug use
well I can vouch for that
my d**k is scared of you
girl

Parnell: Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–

(Portman throws chair at Parnell)
Portman: No more questions

What!

Here are the Lazy Sunday (Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia) Lyrics.
Lazy Sunday,
Wake up in the late afternoon
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’
Hello?
What up, Parn!
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
Narnia!
Man it’s happ’nin’!
But first, my hunger pangs are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt, that bakery’s got all the bomb frostings.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.

Two! No, Six! No, Twelve! Baker’s Dozen!
I told’ja that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper West Side, dude!
Let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest!
That’s a good one too.
Google Maps is the best!
True that! Double true!
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka!
What you wanna do Chris?
snack attack, mutha—-!

Hit the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!

Yo, stop at the deli.
The theatre is overpriced!
You got that backpack
I’m going to pack it up nice.
We don’t want security to get suspicious!
Mr. Pibbs and Red Vines equals crazy delicious.
Yo, reach in my pocket and pull out some dough,
Girl acted like she never seen a $10 before!
It’s all about the Hamiltons baby
Throw the snacks in a bag and I’m Ghost like Swayze.

Roll up to the theatre
Ticket buying what we’re handling,
You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we’re dropping Hamiltons
Parked in our seats movie trivia’s the illest!
“What Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?”
We answered so fast, it was scary:
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed “Matthew Perry!”
Then quiet in the theatre or it’s gonna get tragic
We’re about to be taken to a dream world of magic

In the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Want to see the video? Click the link below:
Chronicles of Narnia Rap Video

And check out the SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Video

Anyway, let’s talk about antiperspirants and cancer.

A friend of mine told me that antiperspirants cause breast cancer. This is the 3rd time I’ve heard this so I did some research. 2 times from women, 1 time from a man. I did some searching on the internet using Google can came upon the US Gov website explaining this issue.

You can read the full report here. Here’s an excerpt from the article.

The Cancer Myth
The rise of the Internet has made it easy for false health claims, scary stories, and rumors to reach millions of people in a matter of minutes. One such myth says that antiperspirants may cause breast cancer.

According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), the breast cancer-antiperspirant myth first appeared in the form of an e-mail in the 1990s, and continues to resurface and recirculate about every year or so. The false information suggests that antiperspirants contain harmful substances, which can be absorbed through the skin or can enter the body near the breasts through nicks in the skin caused by shaving. The e-mails also suggested that antiperspirants keep a person from “sweating out toxins,” resulting in the spread of cancer-causing toxins via the lymph nodes.

But the NCI says that no existing scientific or medical evidence links the use of underarm antiperspirants or deodorants to the subsequent development of breast cancer. The FDA, the Mayo Clinic, the American Cancer Society (ACS), and the Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association agree. Razor nicks may increase the risk of skin infection, but not cancer.

According to the ACS, sweat glands are not connected to the lymph nodes. Most cancer-causing substances are removed by the kidneys, are released through urine or by the liver, and are eliminated with feces. The ACS says that lymph nodes may help to clear some toxins from the body, but they do not release these toxins through sweating. Sweat is not a significant route for eliminating toxins from the body.

And a study of 813 women with breast cancer and 703 women with no history of breast cancer, published in the October 2002 issue of the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, found that antiperspirants do not cause breast cancer.

Some speculate that the myth could have been started by women being told not to wear antiperspirants or deodorants before a mammogram. They were told this, not for safety reasons, but because residue from these products appearing in the X-ray is often mistaken for an abnormality in the breast.

So there you have it. Antiperspirant Awareness.
This information was taken from the FDA Consumer magazine, July-August 2005 Issue

Here are some more resources regarding antiperspirant and cancer.
breastcancer.org -
Antiperspirants Do NOT Cause Breast Cancer
cancer.org -
Antiperspirants and Breast Cancer Risk
cancer.gov -
Antiperspirants/Deodorants and Breast Cancer: Questions and Answers
usatoday.com -
Study disproves e-mail hoax linking antiperspirants, cancer

I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get ahold of me, they just say “Mitch,” and I say “what?” and turn my head slightly.
Mitch Hedberg

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.
Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.
Mitch Hedberg

I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling, I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Mitch Hedberg

The depressing thing about tennis is that now matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg

You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg

I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg, Mitch All Together

Top 10 Searched Words This Month:
This is a list of words which were used to find Stuck in Iowa this month. Click it to see what comes up!
not
interface
registered
outlook
bcmlogon.dll
of
chronic
narnia
the
word

A Worthy Opponent
Chuck Norris is climbing the ladder and steel just posted that entry. Daaaaaaaaaaaamz!

Bookmarks
10% of our viewers this month has added Stuck in Iowa this month to their favorites. Give it a shot! Adding us to your favorites is fun and free! (That was corny, get it? Corny? Iowa? Bwahahaha..ok maybe not)

Are you trying to resize the current window using javascript? I searched google for a way to resize the current window but all I got was how to resize a window using Javascript when you click a link. If you have run into the same problem I have the simple solution for you.

My code is not aligned because wordpress kept putting in br tags, but you’ll get the point (hopefully) To resize the current window using javascript use this code in your header:

Well I tried to put it here but WordPress was having problems and resizing the blog, omg so funny (not) but rofl anyway? Watch out, here comes the rolfcopter!

You can view all code right here in this txt file.
resize-current-window.txt

Oh hellz yeah!

Top 10 Ways to get Drunk for Five Dollars or Less

Number 10. Be a frosh (freshman).

It’s not true that every frosh can be knocked into unconsciousness by waving a tom Collins under their nose, but as those of us who go hunting for frosh on “New Kids night” at the local dance holes know, the phenomena is not rare. Frosh are usually young, inexperienced, and sometimes even illegal to entice into your boudoir. If anyone can get drunk on five bucks, it’s them.

Number 9. Be female.

Chivalry is not dead! While you ladies can’t expect guys to risk their life, or miss an episode of star trek for you, you may still be able to get some alcohol out of them. Try standing around the bar, sipping water with a grimace on your face. Dress smutty. Smile at guys as they walk by, the drunker geekier the better. If you want to get more than one drink out of a guy start talking about how hot it is. Act intoxicated. Become even more friendly. At an appropriate time have a friend come by and “save you”, then move on to the next guy.

Number 8. Try Medication.

Sleeping pills. Allergy pills. If it says “do not take alcohol with this drug” or “do not operate a motorized vehicle while under the influence of this drug”, it must be good! Intelligent students such as ourselves, while not having a shred of pharmaceutical knowledge, can see that these statements are a plot by alcohol producers to keep us buying large quantities of booze.

Number 7. If it ends in ‘ol, drink it!

Alcohol isn’t the only intoxicant ending in ‘ol’. Methanol, Butanol and Propanol are all fine safe intoxicants, often available at bargain prices. Stay away from aerosol, cholesterol, and drool.

Number 6. Sleep Deprivation and Sickness.

For some reason, your body doesn’t want you to have any fun, and actively fights alcohol -enhancement. When you’re sick, and tired, your body’s defenses are at their lowest. This means its often one of the most cost effective times to get plastered! Best of all, if you puke, you can blame it on the flu.

Number 5. Try Antifreeze

Hey, ten thousand deranged alcoholic street people can’t be wrong!

Number 4. Smash and Grab.

Drunk on less than five bucks? Try drunk for free! If you’re smart enough to figure out your news reader, chances are you’re smart enough to plan a little robbery. But don’t forget to take the time to pour the perfect beer.

Number 3. Scavenge.

Go to any bar and you’ll usually see alcohol that people just don’t want. Most often these finds will be at empty tables, with chairs with jackets on them that people also don’t want. Grab the booze, and the jackets, and leave. Do so stealthily though. You wouldn’t believe how many losers will pretend that they really wanted their cast offs. Finders keepers!

Number 2. Hang around with Losers or Generous People (same thing)

Some people are crazed enough to buy alcohol for other people, and expect nothing in return. Well, they might expect after they buy you a round that you’ll do the same, but you never signed any contract. Generous people usually stop buying alcohol when they realize what a cheap bastard you are, but losers will usually keep on doing it. They’ll be so overwhelmed by the fact that you’re actually talking to them, they won’t worry about little details, like that they’re spending their tuition money to get you pissed.

And now …(drum-roll)… The Number 1 Way to get Drunk… for Five Dollars or Less: … Make Beer Fast!

Finger the originator of this article, an address will be given. Mail one beer to this address. Using saturation posting techniques, repost this article to enough newsgroups for about a million people to see it. Within a few weeks you’ll have received a million beers. In another few weeks the postal system will collapse…

… address coming soon…

Click it right here!

Click this link to see all the lyrics from this Saturday Night Live Digital Short: Lazy Sunday.
Lazy Sunday Lyrics

And check out the SNL Digital Short featuring Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap Video

All three involved (two in car and rider) were killed instantly. This graphic demonstration was placed at the Stockholm Motorcycle Fair by the Swedish Police and Road Safety Department. The sign above the display also noted that the rider had only recently obtained his license.

At 250 KM (155 mph) the operator is traveling at 227 feet per second. With normal reaction time to SEE-DECIDE-REACT of 1.6 seconds the above operator would have traveled over 363 feet while making a decision on what actions to take. In this incident the Swedish police indicate that no actions were taken.

Iowa finishes the regular season at 7-4 overall and 5-3 in the Big Ten Conference. The Gophers drop to 7-4 and 4-4. Both teams await bowl invitations.

Taken from Hawkeye Sports

“MADISON, WI — Iowa brought rain to the home-season finale for No. 19 Wisconsin in more ways than one Saturday, as the Hawkeyes scored 20 unanswered points to pull out a wet 20-10 upset on Barry Alvarez Day.

The victory was needed for Iowa (6-4, 4-3 Big Ten) to become bowl eligible and avoid three-straight losses. Wisconsin falls to 8-3 overall and 5-3 in the conference for the season. By beating the Badgers for the fourth-straight year, the Hawkeyes retain possession of the Heartland Trophy for the second year of its existence. “

The movie is played out well, but a lot of important things are shortened in the movie making it lack that real life feeling. Even so, it gives a little insight into somebody else’s life with relationship problems. They have children and I’m glad to see that they weren’t thinking “Oh what about the kids! Oh no!” becuase they really need to focus on eachother for this to work.

Things I Learned From This Movie
- Men can cry
- Love is lust in disguise. Lust fades, love is life long friendship and companionship
- It takes two people to make a relationship work
- A divorce isn’t final until the papers are signed, even if another house is purchased
- You can still be friends even if the marriage isn’t working
- Chow Fun’s has great food!

Is it worthy?
It’s a renter

My Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Movie Details
The Story of Us (1999)
MPAA Rating: R
Starring: Bruce Willis, Michelle Pfeiffer, Colleen Rennison, Jake Sandvig, Casey Boersma, Tim Matheson
Director: Rob Reiner

One Point Loss

One point! One f’n point loss! OUCH!
Read about this at Hawkeye Sports

CHICAGO (AP) – Ross Lane caught a 9-yard touchdown pass from Brett Basanez with 42 seconds remaining to give Northwestern another wild victory, a 28-27 comeback win over Iowa on Saturday.

With the win over Iowa, Northwestern (6-3, 4-2 Big Ten) remained in contention for the conference title and became bowl-eligible. Iowa (5-4, 3-3) needs to beat Wisconsin or Minnesota to become eligible for the postseason.

Things I Learned From This Movie
- with enough force you can punch through walls and people
- prisoners get about 10 minutes to shower OR go to the bathroom OR wash their clothes
- even though ‘Riki’ is kind of a kids name, Riki-Oh is one tough guy. It’s proven when he is buried alive.
- if you’re beat in a match you can still have the last laugh by disemboweling yourself and choking your opponent with your guts
- nails to the head and eyes won’t kill you
- prison gauds are corrupt
- you can be buried alive for 7 days with only air, and when you’re unburied you can immediately beat the crap out of everybody.

My Rating: 4 out of 5

Final Thoughts
An oldie but a goodie. If you love martial art action flicks then this is a movie to own. The story line is a little weak but all the fighting and gore make up for it. You’re probably wondering why I gave it a 4/5 rating, well it’s a different genre and cannot be compared directly with the latest drama/comedy/etc movies.

Movie Details
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
Starring: Fan Siu Wong, Bin Shimada, More
Director: Ngai Kai Lam
Rated: Not Rated
Length:90 minutes
Original Release Date:1991

As Jerome Jackson’s 1-yard touchdown run in overtime snapped Iowa’s 22-game home winning streak, the stadium was draped in the official color of mourning.

Michigan emerged with a 23-20 win over the Hawkeyes in the first-ever overtime situation inside the 76-year-old structure. Both teams are now 5-3 overall and 3-2 in the Big Ten Conference.

So where was I? Ah yes… I’m chillin out, etc etc etc. Drinking some coffee and the the house shook like a heard of elephants were coming up the steps. It was a really wierd feeling, the house shaking, the pictures on the wall rattling, and the smoother going ‘ummmm… wtf mate?’ It was pretty amazing to be a part of it since I’m from the tornado section of the country.

Oh but it’s not over! Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine and BAM! It happened again! He goes “Did you feel that? Another earthquake Iowa boy!” and then we hopped online to see how big it was. It was a 4.something just like the first one and they both happened in the same spot, one on top of another. I never would have guessed it, but there are a ton of earthquakes every week in California! I would assume maybe just a few, but not 100+. Check out this map: Recent Earthquakes in California and Nevada

Learn how to survive an earthquake just like me!

In the end I survived an earthquake that I actually felt, and it felt much safer than running to the basement during a tornado. I just hope California doesn’t fall into the ocean any time soon.

Iowa Coach Kirk Ferentz:
“Our guys competed, they played hard. Especially the corners, they had a tough match-up because we all know they aren’t the tallest group.

(On Albert Young) He is really playing good football, very versatile player, and very unselfish player.

They came in here expecting to win and they should with them having a better record. They are a very good football team.

(On the Indiana Offense) It’s just one of those days where everything was working, they were hummin’ and moving the ball right along.

(On the Iowa running game) We did better in the fourth quarter, we kept at it and stuck with it. Wh

Indiana Coach Terry Hoeppner:
“(Indiana had more total yardage than Iowa) It doesn’t really matter what you do….(with total yardage, if you don’t win). I’ve been here before. We need to congratulate Iowa. With 101 plays. You gotta do better than that. We gave up too many big plays. We didn’t take advantage of our opportunities.

We just need to coach better and play better.

Yes. I thought we might throw 60 times, because of the nature of their defense. We got ourselves in too many long yardage situations. We wanted to run the ball better and more than we did today.

We thought it was going to be a 60-minute, 15 rounder here today.

I thought our pass protection, for the most part, was good. (Quarterback Blake Powers?) He kind of played the way I coached today, which was just good. We’ve got to do better than that.

(James Hardy?) He continues to make big catches, and big plays. We’re really happy with the way he’s playing. But that’s kind of hollow now.”