Stuck in Iowa

How I may look
50 years from now

Now I’m not saying that I hate Christmas. Quite the contrary. But here are the things I don’t like about this particular holiday season:

• 1) Since when did Thanksgiving become Christmas before Christmas? Pretty soon, “Christmas in July” might become a reality.
• 2) Where the hell did all this snow come from? Is God trying to catch up with the last few years in just one winter?
• 3) I don’t have money for gifts. I don’t know where everyone else is coming up with that gift money. I guess I better put on my street walkin boots and Santa’s hat/hooker red lipstick to make up the difference.
• 4) When did this particular holiday become the one where everyone asks me when I’m going to propose to my girlfriend? See previous point for the answer to that one, bitches.

So, in conclusion, this holiday is about love, not setting up lights on November 1st, not shoveling until we all get hernias or heart-attacks, not spending hours working to spend hours shopping, not proposing (or will I?). But love and family. So screw all that other stuff we’re supposed to do, because, guess what folks… THAT ISN’T CHRISTMAS!